never been the praying kind...but lately I've been down upon my knees

..it's gonna take a miracle...to calm the storm in my heart....

I feel as if I'm lost in life. Like everyone's given an instruction manual and I have to play by ear. I dont like this one bit. I'm feeling a great deal of sadness all of a sudden and I dont think anything can cure it at this point in time. *hands shaking* where have all the good times gone...why have I been left behind?!

Congrats to all who got the MOE scholarship

Congratz kimmy, azrina, filah, baz and everyone else whom I've not mentioned on getting the scholarship. Good on u guys...Hazim...dont worry...you and I are in the same boat. Just hope it doesnt sink...Hope we both get considered in the second batch of awardees....*fingers crossed*..

It's just this feeling where u wanna do everything in your power to go places..grab what you want. You've been equipped with all the right equipment. But you just dont get the chance to prove yourself. Where does that leave you ? Frustrated. That's exactly how I feel right at this moment. Its like everyone's moving forward and all you can do is watch. You cant close your eyes to sub-consciously stop the motion. It's like someone cruelly superglued your eyelids in such a way that you cant even blink.

"...it would take a miracle to calm the storm in my heart...."

Ping pong your way to an alternate dimension

I suppose this is my way to vent. Sports...this sport in particular. Now that I dont have much in particular to do, all I've got is ping pong. I'm really beginning to love it again. It gets you so tired that you cant even be bothered to think about stuff such as the above. How I'd love to suddenly wake up and find that all my education and financial problems have figured themselves out. One day..someday soon.

Anyways, I went for training an hour early today coz for the life of me I couldnt remember if coach said 2pm or 3pm...LoL...it's weird. I started off by sparring with one of the army dudes. When coach got there, he told me to compete with that dude. I lost, 1-3...haha...I got really frustrated coz I knew that I'm capable enuf to win. Coach cud see that but he continued lecturing me anyways. That was when training with him started.

He showed me all my mistakes and tried to fix them on the spot. After that, he made me compete with a differnt army dude, this time, better result. I won 3-0...but that was coz this guy wasnt all that good. After the match, coach made me try new things then made me play with a more experienced player. I won the first set, lost the second set. Put the blame on my extremely wet t-shirt. So I changed my shirt and continued the match. Final score, 3-2...I WON I WON!! Thanks to the new tactic. Haha...Anyways, that was my brief moment of glory...it didnt last long..

What's up with this weather?

The weather's gone all funny...who lowered the temperature? It's suddenly gotten unusually cold for Brunei's standards. Constant rain, strong winds, the whole enchilada. It's scary especially when I drive. Right outside the sports complex you can actually see the damage that has been done by this weather...It's a bit freaky. There's this huge tree that looks like it's been twisted all the way round (all 360 degrees) but has refused to fully break. It's weird.

The post box outside my gate has been dismemberer...not sure if that's the right word, but it sure suits the meaning..and all the vegetation around my house has gone all funky...I dont get it. I was complaining to my dad bout how cold it was this morning and he made a joke saying that it's been forcasted to snow later in the month..LoL...I'd be really shocked if that happens. Cant wait...but if that does occur, we're in for major problems geographically. So readers, hold on to your pants coz it looks like we're in for a ride. -signing out-