Wednesday, August 27, 2008

watch me as I bleed

I dunno..I'm feeling extremely emo today. I dont know if it's coz I'm tired but yea...emo. I've been scratching my eczema patch like crazy it's started bleeding. Thats when I stop. It's a vicious cycle.

I was dreading today and I'm glad it's over. Puffy was happy today which is good but I think I've managed to drag him down with me. When I look at him now, he's no longer smiling...he's sulking...I dont know. I feel like I've lost all purpose in life. I dont know what to do anymore. Intership meeting is on the 15th of next month and I just heard that not all will be receiving internships...fucked up right ? Why didnt they mention this BEFORE we decided to do enriched degrees. Totally defeats the purpose. Looks like I may be doing more subjects in my third yr...oh well...not so much pressure from change right ?

Get this. One of my friends thought I was a lesbian when I met her last yr. I only found this out recently and it's been messing with my head. I mean, how many people have thought I was a lesbian ? Has that affected the friends I make/dont make ? I dont know. I know, I'm rambling.

Went to one of the final BSSMelb meetings. For me that is. I wont be on the committee anymore. Gonna just jump out while I'm ahead. So our final lunch/afternoon thing that we're planning is on Saturday. AGM people so yea...please come if you want to be on the next committee.

Went to Dr YY's apartment last night for the meeting. She lives in an artsy fartsy place on Franklin that has high ceilings. The apartment itself is quite nice it's only the intercom, the lift and the area outside her apartment that are a bit dark and creepy. I dont know what it is. The gathering was fun. It was then that I think I started getting depressed. I realised there that most of the guys who came over from Brunei have been losing massive amounts of weight...it's depressing coz they're now my weight. Another one of the chicks, M, has lost like 10kgs and right upon hearing that, I figured I'd start starving myself and joining all them malay peepz in their fasting. I'm just too fat. Not happy with me.

Also found out recently that Donkee may be leaving really soon, provided he gets his scholarship. If...or should I say WHEN he gets it, he'll be leaving around the 22nd of next month. Really soon right ? Shit. I'm gonna be alone when I go home for my Summer break. Who's gonna be my look out/ my partner in crime ? Crap. But still, I hope he gets his scholarship. I mean, it'll only be 4 years before I see him again. I could visit him and vice versa during holidays anyways.

So stupid. Why cant UK and Aus holidays coincide? stupid. Yea...anyhooz..I think I've done enough ranting for now. I think I'll just force myself to go to bed or something...*sigh*

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