why am I feeling this way?

I dunno how it is that I can feel the way I'm feeling when the person I want is always right beside me. It's weird to see that someone is there but not "really there". I'm really not sure if I'm making any sense at all. But this is how I feel.

Last night, I kind of went into a depression based trance and I was told I looked scary coz I was so 'serious' to put it in his exact words. Well people, I tend to do that when I dont have any other outlet. No one to talk to, no one who can relate to what I'm going through. I dont quite expect anyone to understand this.

But yea, it's been a weird week. Still trying to get over the events gone by.