I know...I'm going into 'emo' mode at the moment and arif probably wouldnt like the fact that I used that term to describe the phase that I'm going through..but hey, it's reality isn't it ?
I just had the world's biggest reality check. It's like Brunei all over again...MAN!!! If I wanted to go through all this BS, I should've just stayed in Brunei...why waste all this money...why bother crossing borders just to experience the same thing...AGAIN...bloody hell man...
After this year, I think my life is gonna slide downhill...I wont have the people I normally have to keep me in check. Sure I have arif...I hope that's enough though. I have a way of letting things spiral badly out of control sometimes. :(
By this time next year, Rach will probably be elsewhere...someplace that's not melbourne. Ying would be done with her honours year and far away from me. :( Who's gonna have my back ?
I've come to a realisation that you cant necessarily trust people around you to be honest friends. I mean, who in the world hosts a dinner, invites your boyfriend and personally disinvites you ? Who does that nowadays ? How low would you go to show how much you DONT appreciate someone ?
I have done NOTHING...abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING to you...why do you have to treat me this way? I have made a decision to treat you like you dont exist. No more hellos...no more acknowledgements...you want a war...this is it...I hope you like what you've brought upon yourself. I hope you fail all your units...I mean, you ONLY study in Latrobe...if you cant do well there...where can you do well right ? Bitch...
I feel you drawing the people I used to be quite good friends with away from me. I know there's nothing I can do but watch it happen...sucks to be me right ? My dad used to say 'no man's an island'...FUCK THAT...I'm my own island...if there's no one out there that I can trust...there's just me...on my island....
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