struggling

I'm really struggling now trying to get my 2000 word essay completed by tomorrow. I dont know why I just cant concentrate. You see, even now I'm procrastinating yet again. I'm meant to be finishing my essay dammit!! Sigh..it's not right..it's not right...

Ok, now I feel slightly bad that I changed my password and blocked Billy out of my life but I suppose it's for the better. Maybe I should stop visiting his blog as well. It's making me feel guilty coz he just blogged about shunning me altogether. I suppose I really dont care what he does at this point. I find his 'wanting to be friends' quite intrusive. It's more like he's checking up on me to see if I've really moved on rather than just trying to make conversation and BE friends. I think it's just all too much. So yea, this is me taking a step back and letting him get angry at me and move on. It's the only way at this point.

I went to starbucks just now with syl to look Mr Starbucks ( thats the nickname I've given to the hot guy from Friday night). He wasnt there. Slightly disappointed, but we went Max B's instead after that. I'll consider that my last junk food outing. I'm going AWOL on junk food and anything that is not necessary. So I'll be strictly eating 3 meals a day...or less. I NEED to lose this weight. Call this an obsession, coz it's what it is...but it's definitely necessary.

At this point, I'm just not very happy with the way I look or the way I feel. So yea.
I should get to bed then wake up in a few hours to finish my assignment. I can do it! I know I can. Laterz..