this is what I am

Eyes wide open, my vision is clear but I no longer see what is really there..I see what I want to see. Not really a good thing but at least I manage to keep myself temporarily happy. It's 3.14am and I still cant sleep. I can so easily say that I'm just not tired, but my facial features say otherwise.

I'm getting quite annoyed with playing FF12...for some reason, I cant get the hunts nailed. That's why I decided to restart the game in the first place. But even after doing so, I still cant do the hunts...is it the game ? or is it just me? I was advised to give it a rest and try again another time, and so I did.

It is a sad sad year for my family. We wont be having our annual xmas eve dinner. No more exchange of presents and that sort of thing. Oh well, I suppose when old traditions die, new ones are born. Let's see what's to come. I can feel the family slowly drift apart. Cousins are no longer close....is this what happens when there's a death in the family? It's really sad.

It looks like in my head, I've confirmed the fact that I wont be celebrating CNY in Brunei...I've been bouncing back and forth thinking whether I shud stay or not. I've finally come to a conclusion. There'll be other CNY's but there'll only be one first year orientation. Not gonna miss my chance to meet new people and friends...It'll be pretty much like a whole new beginning...a fresh start. =) Opening the door to what would be the real me.

Gonna go read a magazine...tata..